I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
