Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
