so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
