margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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