Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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