you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
