Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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