my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
