no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
