I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
