I looked at my own cervix.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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