I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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