Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
