ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Of course I have a pirate flag
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
