I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is wine microwaveable?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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