I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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