In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
