I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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