i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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