with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
How's work?
Spinning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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