just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
