What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
