No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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