these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
