I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
