you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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