you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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