summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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