summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
