so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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