I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
