you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just invented taco cereal.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
