these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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