I can tuck mytits in my pants
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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