My friends, they love my intelligence
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
