Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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