Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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