He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
