i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
