I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
