He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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