i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
