i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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