You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
