the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
