I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
