billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
