Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
