do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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