Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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