I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Drake has all the answers
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
