Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He did a backflip because drugs
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