Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
