ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i now understand why vodka
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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