thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
