I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
