sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
