its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Boobs speak an international language.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
